When I come home at night, whether it’s after teaching or meeting up with friends, I look forward to getting into bed. Not just because my bed is super comfortable, but because I’ve created this evening ritual that I really love. I make myself a herbal tea, spritz lavender on my pillow, change into my comfy PJs, and retreat to my bed with a good book (or some sudoku puzzles to keep my mind entertained).

What makes this ritual special isn’t just the individual steps, it’s more about the intentional slowing down. It’s putting my phone aside (my friends know by now I’m hard to reach at night 😅), stepping away from social media and all its distractions, and getting to focus on myself. I’m not scrolling, comparing, or consuming. I’m just living in the moment and really enjoying it.

And honestly? These moments of slowing down, appreciating what or who is around you, are everything to me. They’re what make life worth living.

The Happiness Trap We’ve All Fallen Into

I think we’ve been conditioned to believe that happiness and joy come from the big milestones: building a house, achieving something impressive, landing the promotion. We (and the clever marketers) tell ourselves: “You’ll be happy when… you have this product, you achieve this level, you own this.”

But what I’ve learned through my yoga practice, and what I keep rediscovering, is that waiting for happiness is a trap because you can find joy and happiness in your everyday life, as long as you look for it.

This “I’ll be happy when…” mindset keeps us perpetually chasing the next thing. We finish one goal, feel a brief moment of satisfaction, and then immediately set our sights on the next achievement. It’s exhausting. And it means we’re constantly living in the future, missing out on the beauty of right now.

The truth is, those big milestones are wonderful, but they’re just moments. They come and go. What fills the space in between? That’s where real life happens. That’s where joy lives, if we’re willing to see it.

Training Your Brain to Notice Joy

Think about it. Isn’t it amazing that you can just walk into your kitchen and brew yourself a nourishing herbal tea? Isn’t it great that you can read and expand your mind with books and courses? Doesn’t that lavender essential oil smell so good it puts a smile on your face?

When we train ourselves to notice and appreciate these small joys, something shifts. We stop postponing our happiness. We stop speaking negatively about our environment and ourselves. We bring our awareness to the (many) joyful things in our lives. We realize we don’t need to earn our right to feel good. And the best part is, we can choose it every day.

This isn’t toxic positivity, I’m not asking you to ignore challenges or pretend everything is perfect. But I am inviting you to expand your awareness to include the good alongside the hard. Because both exist at the same time, and we get to choose where we place our attention.

The Ripple Effect of Small Joys

Here’s something I’ve noticed in my own life and in my students: when you start finding joy in the small things, your whole energy changes. You walk lighter. You smile more. You become more present in conversations. You notice beauty you used to walk right past.

And that shift? It’s magnetic. Finding joy in the small things will put you in a much better mood, which shifts your energy and helps you attract like-minded people, opening yourself up to new experiences. When you’re radiating gratitude and contentment, you naturally draw in others who are on a similar wavelength. Opportunities seem to appear. Connections deepen. Life feels more expansive.

But I’ll dive into that topic (the energetics of joy and manifestation) at a later point because it deserves its own exploration.

How to Start Your Own Small Joys Practice

If you’re reading this and thinking, “I want more of this in my life,” here are some simple ways to begin:

1. Create a daily ritual you actually look forward to
It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Maybe it’s your morning coffee in your favorite mug, a five-minute stretch when you wake up, or lighting a candle while you cook dinner. The key is consistency and presence. Make it something that signals to your brain: “This is my time. This is sacred.”

2. Notice three joys before you get out of bed
Before you reach for your phone in the morning, take a moment to notice three small things you’re grateful for. The warmth of your blanket. The light coming through your window. The fact that you have another day ahead of you. This simple practice rewires your brain to look for joy first thing.

3. Slow down one daily activity
Choose one thing you usually rush through: brushing your teeth, making breakfast, walking to your car, and do it slowly, with full awareness. Notice the sensations, the sounds, the smells. Bring presence to the mundane, and watch it transform.

4. Put your phone down during meals
This one is big. Eating is one of life’s genuine pleasures, and we miss it when we’re scrolling. Taste your food. Notice the textures and flavors. Make it an experience, not just fuel. Your digestion will thank you too.

5. Share your small joys with others
Tell someone about the little thing that made you smile today. Text a friend, tell your partner, be the one to share these small moment with others.

A Reminder for the Season Ahead

As we head into the busy holiday season, let this be a reminder to find joy in the small things, especially if you get to be together with loved ones this season.

The holidays can bring pressure, to buy the perfect gifts, create perfect moments, meet everyone’s expectations. But what if, instead, we focused on the small joys? The laughter around the dinner table. The smell of cookies baking. A quiet moment with a cup of tea while everyone else is bustling. Your niece’s excitement over something simple. The feeling of being surrounded by people you love.

Those are the moments we’ll remember. Not whether the decorations were Instagram-worthy or if we checked every item off our to-do list.

An Invitation

So here’s my invitation to you: How many small joys can you collect in a single day?

Start noticing. Start appreciating. Start choosing happiness right where you are, with exactly what you have. You might be surprised to discover just how much beauty already surrounds you.

And if you want to take this practice deeper, bring it to your yoga mat. Notice the small joys in your practice, the relief of a deep stretch, the steadiness of your breath, the way your body shows up for you day after day. Yoga teaches us that the extraordinary is hidden in the ordinary. We just have to be present enough to see it.

Life isn’t happening at the finish line. It’s happening right now, in these small, seemingly ordinary moments. Don’t miss it.